DARK IS NOT DRAB

Being born dark is not a sin. Though society likes to caress that impression. It is just a random happening in this Universe, often with genetic reasons attached.    

It has taken me years of pacifying my bruised self that because I am dark, I am not bad. Until I met the man of my life, who enveloped me in his warmth and care emphasizing that love went more than skin deep, I bemoaned my looks. But that is passé. Luckily for me. But I know many others who were not darn lucky even a grain. Their egos have been repeatedly hurt so much so that they have taken refuge in alternative healing methods.

The other day, while speaking to an expecting mother, I realised it is also a fear that is beyond cure. ``I pray the baby is healthy. And fair too,’’ she said. ``Why is that?’’ I asked bewildered. She is not only a pretty lady but her husband is equally blessed with good looks and colour. ``Because husband’s dad is wheatish. What if the baby gets his colour?’’ I wanted to scream it was much better than a baby born without hands or legs.

But then I remembered my pregnancy days. One of my husband’s relative, a rather fair person, posed me this question. ``Asha, what if the baby has your colour only?’’ I said I really hope the baby gets my character too, so that he can brush aside such silly questions. The relative did not speak to me for days. But I dearly wished the baby did not share my skin so that he is spared of his mom’s colour woes.

Married to a family where I am the only dusky woman around, I should be the best person to say `it sometimes hurts’. My scale of weighing beauty differs from theirs. I have seen beautiful women with dark skin. And fair skinned women with the evil of thoughts and devilish of minds. I have met innumerable women in my career days who were so beautiful, who inspired me with their strength of character. Many of them sombre-coloured.

Yes, the poet is true. A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Whether that be a flower or a rainbow. Or a pretty woman. But her beauty alone does not make her a joy. And unless you are walking the ramp for a beauty pageant, it shouldn’t be a concern at all. I remember the beauty queen in our tuition centre who made an appearance in a movie and went into oblivion after getting thrashed for her poor acting. Her looks could not save her. It brings to my mind a question I happened to read in a women’s magazine years back. A newly married woman who was white as a chalk said her husband was black as a crow. `` Is his darkness contagious, doctor?’’ she wanted to know!!

The colour of the skin has peels of gender issues too. It is okay to be a dark man since it falls in one of the three look-out-man-features in the TDH (tall, dark, handsome) format. But a woman can’t be pretty in dark skin. She should be the immediate predecessor of Aiswarya Rai. Who was the benchmark before her, I wonder. It’s alright to be a dark-skinned sister or daughter. But not happening if you are a daughter-in-law and dark. Oh yes. Because at the time of my first pregnancy, I was asked to gulp in one glass of saffron milk everyday for 5 months so that my baby does not inherit my colour!! During the second pregnancy, I simply refused.

The ugly side of the story unveiled when a near relative thought aloud, ``how come your kids are not dusky like you? What did you have during pregnancy?’’ I have forgiven him, for my demons are already fastened behind the bars.

It’s good to see campaigns happening online against this barbaric division of female population on the basis of skin colour. But it should happen from the smallest unit- family. Where children should be assured its okay to be dark. That beauty goes well beyond skin colour. That real beauty is the strength of character. I shall teach mine the theory. Life is sure to show them examples.