CRACKING A PUZZLE...
School reopened today. As I got him ready, I could hear a pounding in my son's chest. `` Will I get all the answer sheets today?" he asked. I said, ``You had no fear of exams, then why fear marks now?'' To which he blurted out, `because you will get angry, No?''
That set me thinking. The vast portions covered in class V are not his worry. That he did not do his best is not his anguish. But how I will react to his marks is his only concern. I think I have seriously misled the boy. But what exactly is the right attitude to your child's schooling . Am yet to figure out.
In the initial years, I had set a timetable at home too. The study hours were short though. Evening 6.30 to 8. When he reached II grade, we brought it upto 8.30pm. Now, at grade V, it is still stuck there. But the previous day of his first exam last month, I saw him up till 12 midnight.
In the first two-three years, I had invested so much of my time and energy to teach him. Gradually I realised it will only kill his interest. By the time he reached grade 111 and I had my daughter to take care of too, I had learned some hard lessons myself. I told him that am not going to spoon feed him the portions anymore. His motto is `Amma read, I learn.' I told No. `You read, you learn.'
This year, when school started in June, I made it clear, things are going to get tough. I tried to steer the matter into emotional terrains and said ``what if Amma is not there to sit with you daily, you should learn to study by yourself.'' He asked, `so where is Acha going?'
With age, I have mellowed down. When I used to bully him mercilessly to study when he was hardly 15 kilos, my family would say `how can you do this to that small boy?' Now, when I dont give a damn, my mother asks, `how can you be such a careless mom?' This happened during the final exams in grade IV. He had Arithmetics the next day and I had taught him Science. Thankfully, one of my friends whose daughter is in the same class as my son's, corrected me the previous evening. Since then, my mother keeps a close watch of my parenting skills.
But everyday, this is a serious puzzle I try to solve. How disciplinary I should come across? How rigid I can be and which is the right way? Is there one? I told my son to help me with an answer. "You tell me, how do we go forward" The indolent boy replied, `Amma, You find out.''
That set me thinking. The vast portions covered in class V are not his worry. That he did not do his best is not his anguish. But how I will react to his marks is his only concern. I think I have seriously misled the boy. But what exactly is the right attitude to your child's schooling . Am yet to figure out.
In the initial years, I had set a timetable at home too. The study hours were short though. Evening 6.30 to 8. When he reached II grade, we brought it upto 8.30pm. Now, at grade V, it is still stuck there. But the previous day of his first exam last month, I saw him up till 12 midnight.
In the first two-three years, I had invested so much of my time and energy to teach him. Gradually I realised it will only kill his interest. By the time he reached grade 111 and I had my daughter to take care of too, I had learned some hard lessons myself. I told him that am not going to spoon feed him the portions anymore. His motto is `Amma read, I learn.' I told No. `You read, you learn.'
This year, when school started in June, I made it clear, things are going to get tough. I tried to steer the matter into emotional terrains and said ``what if Amma is not there to sit with you daily, you should learn to study by yourself.'' He asked, `so where is Acha going?'
With age, I have mellowed down. When I used to bully him mercilessly to study when he was hardly 15 kilos, my family would say `how can you do this to that small boy?' Now, when I dont give a damn, my mother asks, `how can you be such a careless mom?' This happened during the final exams in grade IV. He had Arithmetics the next day and I had taught him Science. Thankfully, one of my friends whose daughter is in the same class as my son's, corrected me the previous evening. Since then, my mother keeps a close watch of my parenting skills.
But everyday, this is a serious puzzle I try to solve. How disciplinary I should come across? How rigid I can be and which is the right way? Is there one? I told my son to help me with an answer. "You tell me, how do we go forward" The indolent boy replied, `Amma, You find out.''
Soo relatable 😊 it's a relief to know that we share the same anxieties as parents.
ReplyDeleteWe all have the same issue What is that fine balance that we need to achieve in parenting? Enjoyed this read immensely Asha
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